People on Facebook who Annoy me: A Definitive List

The list includes:

Runners.  On Facebook, it seems like it's all they ever talk about.  They are always training.  Showing us their routes, pics of shoes. Always another marathon they are training for.  5k, Color me Rad, mud run, Shamrock rock.  It's endless. These status updates exist solely to make you feel bad about yourself and the pizza in your oven. I seriously want to defriend all of them.  It seems everyone in their 30s runs and has to tell you about it constantly on social media.  13.1 stickers, 26.2....just give me a 0.0 cause I ain't running. Bleck!

People with vague status updates who are phishing for sympathy. They either "need some prayers guys" or they vent about vague things that they are upset about just enough so you'll bite and ask what's wrong.  Or if you're me you forget they exist since you don't care about their problems.

People who call their husband "the hubs"  it's just god awful.  use his first name or use the word husband.  to use anything else is nails on a chalkboard to me.

People who constantly want me to farm or bejewel or crush candy.  No apps, it's not my thing and stop trying to make it my thing.  if i wanted to do it, i'd be playing already.

People who are on trips and post every single awesome thing they do on their trip that day and every day for the next 7 days.  I may be guilty of this one...sometimes....but dammit when i'm not on a trip I dont need to see YOUR trip, it's jut giving me more wanderlust!!!

People who have an agenda and post the same articles over and over serving that agenda.  We get it..and we aren't buying what your selling when you've posted it 18 times. Move on!

People who end every post of theirs: "Hope you're having a great day!!!"  every single time.  what if i'm not having a great day?  you're calling attention to it isn't helping?  what if i want to stew and be miserable and have to read your chipper self shoving pixie dust down my throat bestowing a great day upon me?  uggg

People who's #tbt pic is a picture of something that happened like 2 or 3 years ago.  Uhh, that's not a throwback???  if the shirt you're wearing in the pic is still in your closet....not throwing anything back there.  It's gotta be vintage or at least 5 to 10 years to be a throwback.  #sorrynotsorry

Selfies..every single fucking day.  nope nope and nope.  i dont need to see your fucking face every single day.  i don't care if you were "feeling your outfit".  selfies are the most narcissistic thing ever created.  i blame steve jobs for making them so easy to take on the damn Iphone.  Thanks a lot Jobs. Or people who post pics of their kids every. single. day.  doing absolutely nothing but playing and aren't even smiling or looking at the camera...why do we need to see that???  just no.  save it for a real occasion. Look at my kid in the backyard... running, wow that should def go on facebook said no person ever.

hipster pics of your food or your coffee.  no one cares what you're eating.  just stop.

I am sure there are more, but this seems like a good list so far.  You could say "Well, then what is left to post?"  I'd say nothing.  Unless you have a funny story, quip, something actually happened to you, you have a link to something interesting...you say nothing.  No one needs to be on social media every single day.  I'm sure your friends wont think you're dead if you didn't comment or like or post one freaking day.  I seriously want to go through my friends list and hide everyone who has offended me over the years, but I'm pretty sure no one would be left!


This list is an example of why this doesn't exist:

You have no idea how negative facebook would become with that one button and I bet that's why Zucks hasn't created it.  Such a shame, it would be my go to button of choice. 

Kids shows today suck and here's why:

Kids' Shows Today Suck and here's why

My daughter who is almost 9 is obsessed with all things Disney Channel.  It has become all she wants to ever watch.  We're talking Austin and Ally, Shake it Up, Casey UnderCover, Liv and Maddie, Dog with a Blog, Girl Meets World.  I've sat through all of them.

And they are basically the same show.  They all involve pre-teens or teens.  They all feature blended casts of males and females with easily identifiable tropes: the good guy, the sidekick, the geek, the heart throb the little bro/sis.  They all have kids who have loud, I'm guessing pricey, colorful wardrobes. They all look like they have their hair and makeup professionally done every single episode.  And the worst part of all: they all have a laugh track.

Most of these shows also have another element to them.  None of the kids on these shows are regular kids.  In the case of Austin and Ally, they are both singers and songwriters who perform per episode. Shake it up has another cast of singers.  Dog with a Blog even has a girl on it who sings. In the case of Casey Undercover, the kid is a teen spy.   Girl Meets World is the only one I can tell so far that is sort of down to Earth, but every commercial break has a singing Sabrina Carpenter (who is the Shawn of the show) belting out something, so it's probably only a matter of time before she sings on the show too.

Now it may seem like I'm picking on Disney.  And I am.  And maybe I would feel differently if I saw Disney channel shows in my era.  But I didn't.  We didn't have the Disney Channel.  I grew up in the era where you actually had to pay for the service.  Now it's bundled with 100's of other channels no person could possibly watch all of.    

Back in my day (oh god, did I just say that?)  I watched Nickelodeon.  The 90's were a treasure trove of beloved Nick classics: Doug, Are you Afraid of the Dark, Space Cases, Hey Dude.  All the best shows were on a lineup that would show every Saturday night: SNICK it was called.  And you were nobody if you didn't catch the whole SNICK lineup and talked about it Monday morning.  The pre-teen version of a watercooler show.  

But my absolute favorite show back in the early 90's was Salute Your Shorts.  

It was a show about 7 kids and their camp counselor getting into trouble and having a good ole summer.  It wasn't shot in a shiny studio with perfectly matched and coordinated furniture.  It was shot outside where half the show takes place, the other being inside a camp lodge and a bunch of cabins. Nothing fancy about those sets.

The characters don't wear perfectly matched colorful clothing.  Most of the time you see them only wearing tshirts and shorts.  They hardly wear any makeup (even the girls, gasp!).  Heck, one of the characters is a ginger with a mullet!  

The cast of Salute Your Shorts seem like normal kids.  Kids who my kids would want to hang out with. In one episode alone, you hear the word "fart" twice!  Can you imagine anyone on the Disney channel even admitting they have a butthole????

The reason kids show suck nowadays is the kids on these shows arent relatable.  Not every kid in this world is going to grow up to be a popstar.  Im making it my mission this weekend to show my kids shows that I grew up with.  When kids were kids, not a Disney popstar that will inevitably be spit out and destroyed.  Looking at you Miley Cyrus:

Who would you rather hang out with??

Teen models who are obviously airbrushed with perfect hair and makeup?

Or these kids:  totally normal fun loving teens

I know my answer, I just hope my kids and future generations don't buy into the Disney hype.